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I'm back online!!!
Get ready for some amazing updates!!!
Be dazzled by my fabulously entertaining life!!!
(well maybe)
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(1 star in my sky... | stargaze...)
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Wednesday, November 23rd, 2005
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WOMAN'S DIARY:
Thursday 13th Oct 2005
Saw him in the evening and he was acting really strangely. I'd been shopping
in the afternoon with the girls and was a bit late meeting him - thought it
might be that.
The bar was really crowded and loud, so I suggested we go somewhere quieter
to talk.
He was still very subdued and distracted so I suggested we went somewhere
nice to eat.
All through dinner he just didn't seem himself - he hardly laughed and
didn't seem to be paying any attention to me or to what I was saying.
I just knew that something was wrong.
He dropped me back home and I wondered if he was going to come in.
He hesitated but followed.
I asked him what was wrong, but he just half shook his head and turned the
television on.
After about ten minutes of silence I said that I was going upstairs to bed.
I put my arms around him and told him that I loved him deeply.
He just gave a sigh and a sad sort of smile.
He didn't follow me up immediately but came up later and, to my surprise, we
made love - but he still seemed distant and a bit cold.
Cried myself to sleep -I think he's planning to leave me - maybe he's found
someone else.
MAN'S DIARY:
Thursday, 13th Oct 2005
Liverpool lost. Gutted. Got a shag though.
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(stargaze...)
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Monday, August 29th, 2005
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i've been a bit poorly
i had a bad chest infection, a few weeks ago now that had lasted for months.
it just wouldn't go away and eventually it took a hold of me
and threw me about a bit
i went to bed with a cough and a smile
and woke with a friendly man telling me not to be frightened
but how could i be frightened when i had been with mum
sitting there laughing and joking and remembering
john later told me he found me blue in the bed and he called the paramedics
but i'm here and i'm glad.
as much as i liked to see mum, it was nicer to see my babies.
it's been an odd few weeks
i miss eisy, of all people.
i dreamt of her a few nights ago.
odd that
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(3 stars in my sky... | stargaze...)
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Wednesday, August 3rd, 2005
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oh lordy lord!
I'm randy as randy can get.
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(stargaze...)
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Thursday, July 28th, 2005
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It's rained all day long, with great wells of dirty rain water pooling inside the dips in my now knackered lawn.
It's hard entertaining a 3 year old hyperactive youngster, to whom everything is an opportunity to wind his mummy, daddy and little brother up.
So, we made bread, minestrone soup and made make-shift collages out of toys, blankets, cushions and anything else we could find to make steering wheels for cars and windows for houses.
When the prospect of the illustration of the cast of Madagascar was inevitable, I called a halt to the proceedings and made an indoor den with a fleeced-blanket and some adapted pool cues.
The bread was good, the soup was better, and early nights were had by 2 very tired children.
(But let's hope the sun shines tomorrow).
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(stargaze...)
| Time: | 11:06 pm. |
| Mood: |  calm. |
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ahh its been hot again today!!
we are still having major building work done to our house, and it looks totally different now to a few months ago.
the new kitchen is currently going in ut have had a few hitches with electrics and now the new hob...
I have decided I should start my own interior design company, and the slogan should be
IT'S GOTTA BE RIGHT OR IT'LL LOOK SHITE
nice ring to it don't yer think?
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(12 stars in my sky... | stargaze...)
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Saturday, June 11th, 2005
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Thursday, January 27th, 2005
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| Time: | 9:13 pm. |
| Mood: |  sad. |
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A few days ago, sam took a picture from off the mantle, that of myself my dad and my mum.
he asked 'where is that lady mummy?' I said what lady? and he said 'nanna betty, there (pointing to the picture).
I tried to explain to him that she isn't here anymore, that she died a long time ago now.
he said 'who is she' and told him like I am his and william's mummy, she was my mummy.
Tonight when was putting him to bed he said out of the blue 'where is nanna?'
I said nanna is at home, meaning John's mum.
he said no, the other nanna, and again I said she's in heaven because she died and he said 'aww, night night to mummy's mum'
I fought hard to fight back the tears.
It's hard explaining these things to a 3 year old.
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(2 stars in my sky... | stargaze...)
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Friday, January 21st, 2005
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yes yes it's been a while...
we had birthdays (I don't want to talk about my age as it's so bloody depressing that I am getting grey hairs)
we went on holiday, to Center Parcs for a week.
was brilliant and luxurious and fantastic and we got spoiled rotten with champagne and choccies and all sorts of nice things.
Sam just adored the forest, and run about mad all week in his wellies, digging up half of Cumbria with his huge stick that he found on the second day, and loyally kept for the remainder of the holiday.
was just wonderful to be away and be waited on, and get our lovely lodge cleaned and fresh towels brought every day etc etc
ahh I could get used to that.
I got a new car on wednesday.
a brand new car, with only 5 miles on the clock.
that's a 1st for me.
do you know, I have only driven it once yet, as William's car seat doesn't fit and we need to get a new one tomorrow.
so, I've been using my old car.
tut.
oh, the hardships of it.
lol
On Monday, we are starting a 2-storey extension to our house, which will double the size of our living space.
HURRAH!!!
We need more room for children to play, people to gather, and our families to stay.
Next boxing day, i'm going to have a huge family party and have everyone over.
that's me done for a few more months.
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(stargaze...)
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Wednesday, December 22nd, 2004
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John's not feeling well and has gone to bed at last, after his wife told him 10 million times to rest or he'll be sick for Christmas.
We've all had a stomach-bug, curtesy of Samuel, who picked it up in play-group.
I've already had it and started to feel better today, but looks like John is getting the wild shites so I hope he's better for Christmas.
He'd sob all Christmas day if he can't have a dinner.
I am crap at giving sympathy sometimes, especially if I'm caught-up in other things.
I'm more interested in the fact William is already on his feet and moving about the furniture at 9 months, than my husband's growling guts. But hey, I'm a mum!
Willy-woos is going to be trouble, I can see it coming!
He already corners his 3-year old brother and takes his toys off him.
lol
It's hard not to laugh when Sam complains that William has taken his socks off him and is sucking one of them, or William has wrestled Sam to the floor and is sprawled on top of him.
There's an art to keeping a straight face!
They are great friends already, but I can see trouble ahead, I really can!
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(stargaze...)
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This shoppin is doin my head in.
I mean, really, it is.
I still have, well WE still have 3 people to buy for and incidentally they ALL belong to John's family so he can kiss my arse if he thinks I'm dragging 2 kids round bollockin shops lookin for poxy presents HE should have got by now!
Stupid-arse.
Anyway, on a lighter note, I have started to wrap the rest of the presents we have bought, which are far too many in number and far too expensive, but hey, it's Christmas right?
That's what it's all about eh, buying over-priced gifts for people, half of whom you can't stand the sight of.
p.s I lied about the lighter note lol
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(stargaze...)
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Saturday, November 6th, 2004
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well, I just can't believe that my baby is now 3 years old.
every year I get a dread in the pit of my stomach when I write out the birthday card.
he's getting so big; it's a dread yes, but it's just so fulfilling too to see him blossom and bloom in the special way that only my sam does.
he will be on the stage that boy, with his funny asides, anecdotes and comic routines that bring belly-laughs to all that have the fortune to know him.
william is a very different character to sam, being much more robust with his strong fore-arms and his fiery- hot temper to match his fiery -red hair.
he's louder, stronger and much more advanced than sam ever was at his tender age of 7 months.
he's practically crawling, before he can even sit-up!
he doesn't want to sit, it's too boring.
he wants to roll, flip, drag and crawl his way through a world that's full of adventure and opportunity.
I have to cherish these times, as they won't last for long.
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(6 stars in my sky... | stargaze...)
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Thursday, July 15th, 2004
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well I am having half an hours peace while sam and william take naps.
well half an hour or however long they both conk out for.
these moments are so, so rare now, and I treasure them when they do come at long last.
william can't decide if he wants to sleep, cry, laugh, play with his feet or suck his fingers right now.
I'm trying to ignore him so he settles himself which is partly working.
it's like he has 10-ton if bricks glued to his eyelids, and he's attemting to half open them with no avail.
it's raining again here up in the north, and it's so bloody annoying.
I have truckloads of washing to get through and nowhere to dry the bloody stuff.
it's also a pain for sam, as he can't play in the garden.
when he's awake I've promised him a trip to feed the ducks up at raby mere, about a 15 minute drive away.
I've been saving some mingy old bread for him.
I hope the rain goes off, or we'll have to go in the rain.
I can't pike on my promise!
his potty-training is going really well, and he's dry now at home.
I'm just waiting for a brave day to make the transition from home to out with no protection.
It's tricky, especially with a young baby in-tow.
we'll get there in the end.
william is doing so well too, and sleeps all night from his last bottle between 9 and 10pm, to 8 or 9am the next morning.
it's nice to finally get both kids to bed and be able to sit and have a decent conversation with my husband.
tomorrow, we are going to my cousin's wedding, and staying over in the hanover international for the night.
john's mum is coming to take care of the sausage-men, and I can't wait to have a bath and get ready at my leisure, without sam smearing my make-up everwhere, and william demanding my attention.
tomorrow I will be den again, not den the mum and domestic magician, but just plain old den.
I'm not going to get too shit-faced, as I want to enjoy the next morning, waking up with no kids.
I want to feel fresh and alive, not have mouth like ghandi's flipflop.
there's a bloke jogging around the park infront of my house.
it's like a bog out there, and it's been raining.
it must be like running through molasses, the daft sod.
there's a perfectly good pathway he could use instead.
some people are just plain thick.
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(stargaze...)
| Time: | 3:07 pm. |
| Mood: |  drained. |
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I don't know what it is, but I feel incredibly down today.
Everything that could go wrong today has so far; we had no bread for breakfast, so sam and me had cereal. He sat at the table, bowl in hand, about to pour rice-crispies everywhere, so I jumped to stop him, knocking my bowl all over the place instead.
He cried, thinking I was mad at him so while I'm trying to clean-up, calm him down and stop william from screaming I'm starting to feel drained and it's still yet only 8.30am.
The morning didn't get any better, with william screeching all morning, puking most of his bottle up everywhere, and sam speading toys and jigsaw pieces everywhere, pointlessly. I thought it couldn't get much worse until I spilled washing powder all over the kitchen floor.
Just one of those days.
But just one of those days that brings you down so hard, you find it hard to pick yourself up.
I have to admit, I am doing pretty well with 2 young kids on my own. 99% of the time it's like a finely-tuned machine running perfectly my house.
It's the other 1% that bothers me.
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(5 stars in my sky... | stargaze...)
| Time: | 12:19 pm. |
| Mood: |  busy. |
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ahh well my new addition to the family is growing nicely, and is quite a puddin'!!!
he's getting so big that we've put him into the big cot as he's too big for the moses basket!!!
sam is also in a new bed, and is doing so well. he sleeps all night, give or take a few accidents of falling out onto the floor!
that kid, I tell you, would sleep on a washing line.
he fell out of bed one night onto the pillows on the floor, and didn't even wake up! we've even found him asleep with his knees on the floor and his head on the mattress!!! poor little sod, I guess we wear him out.
I don't actually find it so hard looking after 2 young kids,it's not that different to looking after 1. when you're on the go anyway it makes no difference. I actually enjoy being a mum. it's the most important thing I have ever, and am likely to do with my life.
it's left me rather knackered medically speaking, and I've been warned NO MORE!!!!
but hey, my kids are worth it, they really are.
we went to tatton park on saturday and took sam and willaim to the estate farm. we got some cracking video footage of sam being followed by an enormous boar and swamped by half-a-dozen orphaned lambs!
he was also chased by a massive bee that was nore like a sparrow in a rugby shirt than an insect.
he was shouting 'go away naughty bee' and john and me just fell about laughing.
the funniest though was him trying to force-feed a poor black sheep a piece of mouldy old straw saying 'eee are, dinner sheep'
so today, bank holiday, I've filled 2 washing lines with laundry and now I'm going to sit on my arse for a bit before tackling the weeds in the back garden and potting-up some new plants we bought on friday.
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(4 stars in my sky... | stargaze...)
| Time: | 11:05 pm. |
| Mood: | exhausted. |
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ahh
i had my beautiful baby on tuesday 16th march at 12pm.
he's a fabulous boy called william, and weighed 7lb 11oz,3 weeks early!!!!!
he would never have come out of me had i gone full term!!!!
i had a nasty time and spent a week in hospital afterwards.
i have an infection in my uterus & bladder and feel generally run down, but i'm so elated with willaim!!!!!
my little family is complete and i really, really wanted another boy.
it'll be so lovely for him & sam growing up together with just 2 years between them.
i'm sick, but very, very happy.
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(13 stars in my sky... | stargaze...)
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ahh hello journal...
been in hospital for 2 1/2 weeks..
baby due in 4/5 weeks but coming next week because of complications.
i have to have a section, which i'm not happy about but oh well nothing i can do about the baby lying diagnally across me instead of head down.
little sod: you've caused me so much grief already and you're not even here yet!!
but hey, you're my other little angel, to stand alongside a little boy whom i love and cherish so much.
no more kids for me though, i've been told.
i could have seen myself with a brood, but it's not to be.
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(1 star in my sky... | stargaze...)
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Monday, February 2nd, 2004
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i'm like a beached-whale.
i don't have long to go now, but this baby is growing like there's no tomorrow.
i look so beautiful with my blue nose & cheeks, not to mention my duck-like waddle.
i wasn't nearly so big with sam.
infact with him you could hardly tell i was pregnant at all.
there's so much to do before this baby comes; organising furniture, buying new bedding, the list goes on and on.
we picked the new pushchair and car-seat up from mamas & papas on saturday.
although sam's only 2, it's nice to have new things for a new baby.
so now i have 4 car-seats and 3 pushchairs.
we must see about selling some of them.
i bought some new little newborn vests and sleepsuits on saturday too.
they look so tiny next to sams' sumo stuff.
sam is very excited about the baby and he talks to the bump constantly. he rubs it and kisses it and say 'awwwww babba'. he even brings toys over he's playing with to show them to his mums' fat belly.
bless him.
he'll be a brilliant big brother will our sam.
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(8 stars in my sky... | stargaze...)
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Monday, January 26th, 2004
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hello all
have had a blood clot on my lung and spent most of last week in the prison AKA Liverpool Women's Hospital.
The care is shite, I can do better myself at home.
I made a deal with them though that I'm finding hard to stick with : as much bed rest as I can get.
With a 2 year old??
I think not.
Poor John started a new job last week, and had only worked 1 day then I was admitted.
Poor baby had to sort out Sam, worry about me AND try and create a good first impression.
Today has been very hard on my own, but a friend has helped as much as she can.
I am grateful for that.
Sam is so upset by it all and screams everytime I even leave the room.
Tomorrow I see my jailer again, and hope he doesn't want me to go back in.
Let's see what happens and hope the week gets better as it progresses.
p.s, the baby may have to come a month early if my breathing doesn't improve.
: (
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(4 stars in my sky... | stargaze...)
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peppermintpig's journal
amused.
contemplative.